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The heaviness of empty spaces

The heaviness of empty spaces

blog, family, life, losstea & reverieMarch 7, 2018death, life, blog post, memories, emotion, memory Comments

I can't tell you how many times I stop to have moments where I am so grateful.

Having treated and seen so many patients in my career, reading about them and being so close to illness and death, it has made me appreciative of the seemingly simple th

I can't tell you how many times I stop to have moments where I am so grateful. Having treated and seen so many patients in my career, reading about them and being so close to illness and death, it has made me appreciative of the seemingly simple things. Being able to hold my cup of tea, feel it's warmth and hear the rain. Above all, being able to hold my baby, husband and Eggsy. And hug them tightly. Are there still things I want to achieve? Yes. My life isn't perfect. But sometimes I stop and look at them and think, "man I wish I could save this moment, freeze this time and store it away." A moment where we are just young enough, healthy enough, son is just a tiny, Eggsy is still a puppy. I know there will be days to come where our son will move on with his own friends, where days will pass and we haven't heard from him or maybe we won't know which part of the world he's in. Where we won't be as strong as we are now. Where Eggsy won't be with us. It's important to take stock every now and again. Sometimes we forget just how good we have it when we're busy looking at what everyone else has. What are you grateful for? #sundaymusings #family #gratitude

May your legacy live on.
Thank you for paving the way 🌻
#notorious
#rbg

May your legacy live on. Thank you for paving the way 🌻 #notorious #rbg

"For indeed my life is a perpetual question mark--my thirst for books, my observations of people, all tend to satisfy a great, overwhelming desire to know, to understand, to find an answer to a million questions. And gradually the answers are re

"For indeed my life is a perpetual question mark--my thirst for books, my observations of people, all tend to satisfy a great, overwhelming desire to know, to understand, to find an answer to a million questions. And gradually the answers are revealed, many things are explained, and above all, many things are given names and described, and my restlessness is subdued. Then I become an exclamatory person, clapping my hands to the immense surprises the world holds for me, and falling from one ecstasy into another. I have the habit of peeping and prying and listening and seeking--passionate curiosity and expectation. But I have also the habit of being surprised, the habit of being filled with wonder and satisfaction each time I stumble on some wondrous thing. The first habit could make me a philosopher or a cynic or perhaps a humorist. But the other habit destroys all the delicate foundations, and I find each day that I am still...only a Woman" - Anaïs Nin, The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 2: 1920-1923

When I was first given the opportunity to create this course, I was told I had less than 12 hours to write the proposal and have it accepted from a process that usually takes 3-4 weeks to complete.

I was told that to even make that would take a &qu

When I was first given the opportunity to create this course, I was told I had less than 12 hours to write the proposal and have it accepted from a process that usually takes 3-4 weeks to complete. I was told that to even make that would take a "Herculean or Wonder Woman effort" and that it probably wouldn't make sense to do as it may not be accepted, by the person in charge. I delivered the proposal in 10 hours. And it was accepted. I knew I could do it. In the end, it was successful and most of my students benefitted. Our pass rate was 100% and most of my students had scores in the 250's for their USMLE step 2 ck board exam. That's all that mattered in the end. I didn't do it alone, I had support from colleagues and mentors and asked for help when needed. But most importantly I gave the students the steering wheel to ensure they were able to get the most out of it and served as their guide. I also admitted when I was wrong and held myself accountable for inevitable mistakes. In the end, only you know your strengths and what you are capable of. So, don't work to prove others wrong, do it to prove yourself right. #tuesdaymotivation

May you never lose that sense of wonder and intrigue in the little things, my sweet child Here's looking forward to crunching in leaves again soon 🍂 #14months #fallthings #leaves🍁 #toddlersofinstagram

Some days especially during tough times like these makes it easy to lose sight of the big picture. Remembering the why's, when's and how's.

I feel very lucky to be able to spend more time with my best friend but it's given us a whole other lens to

Some days especially during tough times like these makes it easy to lose sight of the big picture. Remembering the why's, when's and how's. I feel very lucky to be able to spend more time with my best friend but it's given us a whole other lens to look at each other through- raising a toddler, taking care of a home and managing careers except now from at home, during a pandemic. Usually people who need alone time, we're in each other's space 24/7. Today I'm resharing a post I wrote at the beginning of the pandemic. I had hoped it would not have been more than a month at the time but now 5 months later, it seems more relevant than before. Excerpt: "this time is forcing me to look at my relationships. With my husband and family but most importantly with myself. The people we're quarantining with, are they who we know them to be? How are they dealing? How much time do you want to spend around them? Do you find yourself missing them while they're in the other room or wanted to dig a hole in the ground and tunnel yourself away? What about those we love who live elsewhere? When next will I get to hug my family? How are they coping in a time of uncertainty? Am I being the best support we can be? If not- why?" Check in on your loved ones. Just because they carry it well doesn't mean it's not heavy. Read more: link in bio

Picture: Not a dream / actual memory

🍃

Last night however, I had a beautiful dream, I started running and running away, as most of my dreams go. But then I came upon this area that looked similar to this place I once visited.

The difference was

Picture: Not a dream / actual memory 🍃 Last night however, I had a beautiful dream, I started running and running away, as most of my dreams go. But then I came upon this area that looked similar to this place I once visited. The difference was that in the dream where the water was really clear, beautiful and had dolphins swimming in front of me just glistening in the sunlight. Something about it drew me in and I wasn't afraid to get into the water with them, it was so vivid I could taste the salt. I definitely didn't get much sleep but that one moment of feeling such joy made me wake up well rested and ready for the day. Here's to wishing you find joy in the little moments today and within yourself to keep you going ✨ #dream #inspiration #movingforward #thatsdarling #hallstatt #austrianalps #beautifuldestinations

I wish I could pretend that a 3 day weekend means something to me.

But the truth is, I just negotiated 5 mins to pee alone 😌🌻 #selfcare

#teaoclock
#thatsdarling
#weekendvibes

I wish I could pretend that a 3 day weekend means something to me. But the truth is, I just negotiated 5 mins to pee alone 😌🌻 #selfcare #teaoclock #thatsdarling #weekendvibes

This present I received from my aunt for my birthday has become my little solace.

I don't have much time to read at the moment but if I have a few minutes, I'm able to pick it up and read a poem or two and suddenly the world just slows down.

Mary

This present I received from my aunt for my birthday has become my little solace. I don't have much time to read at the moment but if I have a few minutes, I'm able to pick it up and read a poem or two and suddenly the world just slows down. Mary Oliver is the ultimate muse, and she feels like a friend in a book in this collection of poems. Now carrying her everywhere with me, to always keep her close. #maryoliver #poetry #bookstagram #currentlyreading

“My mother, with the perfect eyebrows, orange-red lipstick and the highlighted hair. The laugh that echoed. The perfume which lingered.

She was the only woman I ever chased, my father once told me.

She, the artist. The well traveled. The musi

“My mother, with the perfect eyebrows, orange-red lipstick and the highlighted hair. The laugh that echoed. The perfume which lingered. She was the only woman I ever chased, my father once told me. She, the artist. The well traveled. The music lover. Her childhood bedroom became my childhood bedroom at my grandparents’ home. I grew up seeing all of her pen pals’ addresses speckled all over her/my door, addresses to unknown people from foreign countries. She who made me mocha drinks, her version made by mixing Milo and coffee. Listened to me and counseled me when I did badly on a test or had a falling out with school friends, always made time for me when I called her using the school’s payphone. Nothing was more important. She taught me about waxing my eyebrows, blow drying my hair and only ever scolded me once in both our lives when I could not recite my 9 times tables.” - excerpt taken from my piece entitled “The Heaviness of Empty Spaces” 03.17.18 Happy Birthday Mama. link in bio.

I can't tell you how many times I stop to have moments where I am so grateful.

Having treated and seen so many patients in my career, reading about them and being so close to illness and death, it has made me appreciative of the seemingly simple th

May your legacy live on.
Thank you for paving the way 🌻
#notorious
#rbg

"For indeed my life is a perpetual question mark--my thirst for books, my observations of people, all tend to satisfy a great, overwhelming desire to know, to understand, to find an answer to a million questions. And gradually the answers are re

When I was first given the opportunity to create this course, I was told I had less than 12 hours to write the proposal and have it accepted from a process that usually takes 3-4 weeks to complete.

I was told that to even make that would take a &qu

May you never lose that sense of wonder and intrigue in the little things, my sweet child

Here's looking forward to crunching in leaves again soon 🍂

#14months
#fallthings
#leaves🍁
#toddlersofinstagram

Some days especially during tough times like these makes it easy to lose sight of the big picture. Remembering the why's, when's and how's.

I feel very lucky to be able to spend more time with my best friend but it's given us a whole other lens to

Picture: Not a dream / actual memory

🍃

Last night however, I had a beautiful dream, I started running and running away, as most of my dreams go. But then I came upon this area that looked similar to this place I once visited.

The difference was

I wish I could pretend that a 3 day weekend means something to me.

But the truth is, I just negotiated 5 mins to pee alone 😌🌻 #selfcare

#teaoclock
#thatsdarling
#weekendvibes

This present I received from my aunt for my birthday has become my little solace.

I don't have much time to read at the moment but if I have a few minutes, I'm able to pick it up and read a poem or two and suddenly the world just slows down.

Mary

“My mother, with the perfect eyebrows, orange-red lipstick and the highlighted hair. The laugh that echoed. The perfume which lingered.

She was the only woman I ever chased, my father once told me.

She, the artist. The well traveled. The musi

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